


WWDPD?

by heartspin



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A what if deadpool was there the whole time, Alternate Universe, Basically take Spidermans story my own way-with a constent deadpool that grows over time, F/M, M/M, Origin Story, Pretty much insanity attempting to have plot and probably some smut later on maybe humor?, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Spidermans angel and demon spidey -because I loved that too much, That needs to be a t-shirt...WWDPD? Someone make that!, Then what would deadpool do?, There is a light torture warning in chp.1 with a kid, Well I shall attempt humor, Yellow box and white box madness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6091393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartspin/pseuds/heartspin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Peter Parker, at age 7, was like many children his age. He watched cartoons, played video games, worshiped Tony Stark, and had an unhealthy habit of sneaking candies behind his parents back. His mother and father were successful scientists, he knew this and boasted regularly about their intelligence and triumphs. His father was his idol, and he was a mamas boy. "-</p><p>Too bad our idols are rarely who we make them out to be. </p><p>Peter Parker's parents are far from the picture perfect duo that they had lead everyone to believe. It may have been 8 years since their disappearance from his life, but it doesn't stop from the truth from slowly unraveling itself from the delicate lie it had been spun into. </p><p>It may actually be a good thing Deadpool has decided to stick around and annoy him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

There was an Itsy Bitsy Spider

 

 

There had been 2 times before he had been bitten by that radioactive spider that Peter had met Deadpool, even if the merc couldn't recall the first it seemed.  
Peter Parker, at age 7, was like many children his age; he watched cartoons, played video games, worshiped Tony Stark, and had an unhealthy habit of sneaking candies behind his parents back. His mother and father were successful scientists, he knew this and boasted regularly about their intelligence and triumphs. His father was his idol, and he was a mamas boy. Often he was beat up in school, and too nerdy and awkward for friends, but that suited him just fine. After all, his uncle Ben often reminded him it was his father that had been the bullied kid and Ben had been the popular looker. And look at where that got his father.

So not having friends meant Peter was often alone, and most of his interactions were with adults. He tended to have more advanced conversations, sometimes making the scientists whom worked with his father speechless. He had managed to do this once with Tony Stark-because his father worked with Stark Enterprises at times- and had been elated when the playboy had smirked and congratulated him, telling him to come back in 10 years for an internship if he continued with his enthusiasm in science. 

And it was on a day that he had been doing just that, reading a large worn book that looked even bigger when he sat huddled over it looking through his bottle cap glasses that were once again held together with tape until his replacements came in-Flash had punched him clear between the eyes snapping the frames. He still had a goose egg and discolored yellow gray skin from the encounter. But at least he was able to be outside during recess, under a large tree at the edge of the playground reading his book while Flash was stuck inside for the rest of the week. 

He stuck his tongue out, turning the page wondering just how long it would take for other kids to grow up and realize just how awesome science was! After all, with people and places like Stark Industries and Osborn corporation, how could they 'not' see just how amazing science was?  
Suddenly he was jerked from his thoughts by a rythmatic tapping. Blinking up from the words he had been engrossed in. he glanced around noticing the sound had stopped.

And then there it was a again. Starting out slow and then picking up in speed and nearing him.  
The third time it happened he turned to see a pebble bouncing his way innocently before stilling at his side. Blinking chocolate eyes owlishly he looked up.  
There was no one there but the back of a shed rarely used by anyone but the groundskeepers and then the woods behind that. Peter became slightly unnerved as his skin began to crawl and he softly shut his book standing not even bothering to dust himself off.  
He had just decided it probably would be good to join his class and perhaps stand close to the teacher for the rest of recess before he felt a large hand land on his shoulder.  
Gasping and spinning around Peters last thoughts were,"Least Flash broke my glasses already," before a fist was snapping the frame in two and knocking him flat back into darkness.

pagebreakpagebreakpagebreak

When Peter came to, the first thing he noticed was his pounding headache. He moans and whines a little when he realizes his movements are limited. He opens his eyes wide and breathing begins to labor as he looks around the pitch black room.  
"Daddy!" he knows something bad has happened. He doesn't want to think about kidnappers, about what happens to little girls and boys who dissapear from their parents whereabouts. He didn't know the full extent of it, his young mind not well versed in the darkness of the world, but he knew it was bad. It left hurt parents behind, an emptiness a void.  
"Mommy! Daddy!"  
"Shut the hell up!" A light flicked on and Peter shut his eyes at the glare with a sniffle.  
"He is the one were looking for?!"  
"Jesus Christ he's just a kid. . ."  
"They said now was the time to get him. If you are against this then leave."  
"But if he really is Sp-"  
A sound of a hit came and the man was cut off. Peter watched the blurry figures-there were at least three- with trepidation. What about when they tired of bickering? What did they want him for  
"Keep the information to yourself. There is to be no leaks. Remember. If there is to be change-it is to be in the bosses favor."  
The guy on the ground-the one Peter assumed was the one hit- grunted angrily.  
"Understood?"  
There was the sound of the man spitting," Yeah. I getchya. But I am not stayin' in here. I don't bother kids."  
The other man made a scoff as the one on the ground seemed to stumble out the door. Peter watched as the two blurry figures left turned to him.  
"P-p-please. I'm just a kid. What use could I possibly be to you?"  
One made his way over. Peter figured he was the leader. So he called him final boss. And somewhere in the back of his mind a voice frantically, hystarically, yelling that he was not ready for the boss fight and he should be allowed to get bigger, stronger, with special weapons armor and equipment. Though he knew this was a very stupid unrealistic thought process it helped calm him, and it helped the situation.  
"H-hey your an adult, I'm a kid. S-s-so st-stop being a bully."  
The man gripped him by the arm tightly and he cried out tears poling in his eyes.  
"Still mouthy. Even now Parker," the man shook him before grabbing his hand and twisting a finger which gave an audible crack.  
Peters mind buzzed as the white hot pain registered and he couldn't hear anything for awhile. Soon a shrill sound came to his ears and it took him a moment to realize he was screaming, crying.  
"Please I want my daddy!" he sobbed.  
"BE QUIET!" the man shook him again squeezing his arm tightly. Fearing that he may try something similar on a larger appendage Peter bit down on his lip, unable to stuff his tied hand into his mouth, and tried to keep his cries silent though they didn't stop. His nose was stuffy and he had trouble breathing and even though he opened his eyes to try and see his captors face it was blurry and he couldn't make sense of it.  
Before anything else could happen there were shouts from outside the room. Along with the sounds of gunfire. Lots of gunfire.  
The man threw him down to the mattress that he had been tied down to and he screamed as he landed on his injured hand.  
The man that had thrown him had only just turned around when he had been jolted by something and was swung into the air above a large red and black blob.  
Teary eyed Peter tried to make sense of the man as he was completely lifted off the ground before being thrown across the room. Something warm, and sticky and wet hit his face. And his breath came in shallow fast gasps.  
He had been beat on enough in school to know what that was.  
The red and black blob remained in front of him but it dropped down in front of him. From what Peter could tell it was a man in a uniform putting his hands up. But what uniform was red and black? Peters pain and fear filled mind was overloaded and couldn't processes this question.  
"Shhhh. SShhhh Petey Pie.I'm here. I'm here."  
Peter was trying to control his breathing and his sobs as he tried to focus on not passing out.  
"P-Please. I want my daddy. I-I want my dad." He tried to suck it up, to stop the wobbling lip. His whole body was shaking but the pain strangely enough had dulled in his hand, though he could feel his heart beat in it.  
"Yeah I know. I'm gonna take you to him," the other hissed looking over his shoulder," I said shut up! I know that already!"  
"I-I didn't say anything," sniffled Peter.  
"No no. Not you. White. But that's later. Here, I am going to untie you."  
Peter found that his shaking had slowed to mere tremors as large hands quickly undid harsh rope from around his wrists and then the man was hissing.  
"Oh baby boy," he took Peters broken fingers into his own hand before the boy pulled back.  
"D-don't touch," he sniffled,"I-its fine. It hurts don't touch"  
This was more painful than any beating Flash had ever gave him. One time the boy had thrown a baseball into his head making Peter pass out for a few minutes. When coming to he had been disoriented and sick. But it hadn't hurt like this.  
"I know hun," red tisked,"I know. I am here to help. Come on, lets get you home."  
Peter felt himself lifted up as red gingerly held him in his arms. The embrace was warm and safe feeling something stronger and safer than his dads hugs. This embrace was like a shield to the dark dark world he had just glimpsed into.  
Hugging onto the man he put his head in the crook of the mans neck.  
"Whats your name?"  
There was a long pause.  
"Wade."  
Peter hadn't expected that. Despite the lack of cape red seemed like a superhero. He should have a superhero name. He weakly stated this as his eyes drooped and he felt the energy leaving him.  
The last thing he remembered was Wade sucking in a breath before saying.  
"Your the only one I ever wanted to be a hero for Peter. I hope I can be that now."

PAGEBREAKPAGEBREAK

When Peter came too he could see. Even broken, it was a blessing to have his thick glasses set-rather crookedly- across his nose. But unfortunately the first thing he saw was the movement outside a car window. That, along with the pounding in his head, turned his stomach until he hurled his lunch on the floor.  
"Oh Pete," Red was rubbing on his back now and as soon as the hurling stopped the child looked up to the super hero.  
Wade was big. Very big. He had to be over 6ft, and had a very muscular physic. He wore red with black accents, and from what Peter could tell was frowning through the disturbingly expressive mask. There were 2 swords on his back, and multiple guns and other small blades on his person along with an accessory belt. It was all very matching besides one thing.  
Around his wrist, held together with some thick twine and tape, was what seemed to be the remains of a watch with a broken face.  
"W-wade?"  
"Don't worry Pety pie were bringing you to your mom and dad."  
"How do you know me?" Peter sniffled after a long silence. If he didn't move it his hand didn't hurt. Just held a heavy feeling about it. He made a point to let it hang without touching it to anything.  
"I cant tell you that. Sorry,"the masked man, Wade, kept looking at him. It was as if he couldn't stop looking before turning back to the road," yes he is so small. Scrawny even. . . Still. . .it is Peter. . ."  
Peter suddenly felt uneasy. The man seemed to be talking to someone but there was no one else there.  
"I cant believe it. Its been . . . i know it hurts. But were fixing this. Were fixing this."  
Peter squeezed his eyes shut as they continued for a few more minutes until they were stopping. He still felt really tired and dizzy. He didn't want to think of his hero to be just as scary as the men, but perhaps in a different way. Who was he talking to?  
"Pety pie. . .were here."  
Peter opened his eyes and saw his home. And his heart soared. Forgetting completely about his hand he went for the door before banging his broken finger on it. Yelping he began sobbing holding his hand to his chest. Wade picked him up cradling him.  
"Shhh shshhhh shhh. You heal slow now. You don't have - well you need to watch it. Come on." And he was hauling the shivering boy out the door. Peter knew he should be embarrassed being outside. He had thrown up and some had gotten onto him. He also was pretty sure he has peed himself. And there was blood all over him. But he couldn't care. He was home.  
It was an odd sensation. Within the past few hours he had been snatched from his school, and then hurt by a whole bunch of frightening men. Then his hero, Wade, had came and saved him and brought him home. It was almost surreal, walking up to the front door in Wades arms, the same front door he entered every day. It felt almost wrong.  
And Wade was just opening the door. As if he lived there.  
And there where his parents, his mother with a phone cradled in her hands as she had been crouched on the ground and his father slowly standing from where he had been crouched behind her.  
"What the-Peter! Put my son down. NOW!"  
Peter looked wide eyed to his father to Wade.  
"Dad he-"  
"Not now Peter."  
"I just thought I aught to save him from the boys who took him from school before coming to see you," Wade cut in before it could escalate and he was handing Peter over to his mother.  
She saw his hand and his face, he was covered in blood and a bit of dirt, and there was the rancid smell of vomit mixed with piss. But despite all of this her boy was here. He was home. She was sobbing and kissing him.  
"The school just got off the phone with us. Said you went missing during recess. We were tying to figure out where you... I-I don't know what I would do if I lost you."  
His father stood his ground, not a large man at all not even half the size of Wade. But despite this he held the masked gaze unblinking.  
"Explain."  
"Yeesh,"Wade said scratching his head,"now I know where he gets it from."  
Peters father frowned even more if that were possible.  
"What? No you explain yourself now. This is not the time to be joking around."  
"Your right," Wades conversational voice was replaced by a more stern one as he looked looked his father straight in the eye," You have no time. They are coming. They know. About everything."  
Wade peered past his father to his study and when their gazes met again his father now had a look of fear and shock.  
"How. . ."  
"They will be coming here next. They are searching for something. i am sure you know this."  
His mother stood with Peter curled up in her hold.  
"We have to leave," she said her husband," hide out."  
She turned to Wade," I am unsure who you are. But you helped our Peter. Can you-"  
"I can't help any more."  
She blinked.  
"Wha-?"  
Before Wade could say anything else Peter felt something in him twisting. As if Wade had said something particularly cruel to him like Flash often did.  
"You," Peter,"You said you were my hero. You-your leaving?!"  
It hurt him more than he thought it would. And at 6 he wasn't trying very hard to understand any of it. It made his head spin.  
The mask conveyed a very deep frown," I'm sorry Peter. But sometimes to be a hero. You have to do very difficult things...I will see you again."  
Then he was turning without another word and heading out the door as if they had just agreed to have a dinner date.  
But Peter didn't get a chance to ponder this. His parents were already working on packing lightly, quickly, erasing notes, grabbing others. He watched his dad open a secret compartment in his desk and then a briefcase storing something away.  
They went to his uncle Ben and Aunt Mays house. He thought after setting his finger and splinting it that his parents and him would go to bed. They would wake up in his aunt and uncles guest room like they did frequently on visits, make pancakes shaped like animals that he would make noises with.  
But then his parents were speaking in hushed whispers looking through the living room to the hall where he played with the door frame quietly. His father told him to be good, his mother kissed him many times. And they walked out the door.  
It wasn't for several weeks until he realized that they left him. It wasn't for a year he assumed they never were coming back. 

And it wasn't for 7 more years, far after he had begun to accept his life with his Aunt and Uncle whom he loved very much, and had grown to see Wade as a long forgotten figure- like an untouchable idol- that was something he could merely speculate about that he had his second encounter with Wade. 

 

END CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I'm Deadpool-A Sexy Motha Fuckkkaa

 

Life had winded down for Peter over the years. Yes the horror of being kidnapped and near tortured as a young child had only marred him slightly for a few years. But all the good memories with his aunt and uncle seemed to overshadow it, because it never could truly be erased, and he became a normal teenager.  
He was 14-"Nearly 15!" he would pump his fists in the air saying to his aunt and uncle as if the added year were some sort of achievement. And honestly he wasn't sure what the excitement was for 15.  
Besides being outrageously smart, having skipped a grade even, Peter was very much to the word- Normal. He was growing out of his baby face slowly, though his body was as thin and scrawny as ever, his hair a messy brunet mop atop his head and large soft brown eyes. He often scowled in the mirror at his pale complexion, plain brown hair, and plain brown eyes. He wasn't tall, wasn't buff, no dashing good looks with dark hair and blue eyes, or beach boy blond hair with tanned skin.  
No he was normal. He was unsure how much of that he actually was okay with. . .perhaps the looks department would be nice to improve on. And the awkward personality. Because honestly not having any friends to make nerd references with was killer. One year with Harry being gone and Peter was already going crazy from lack of contact. He was glad the older blond would return soon, even if they could only really interact outside of school. Harry, after all, only befriended him on his fathers behalf only discovering after a time that Peter could actually be nice to speak with, though he still swore the boy was crazy.  
"Not crazy," muttered the brunette as he walked down the street glaring at the sidewalk and wishing it could eat him alive so he didn't have to be seen in public ever again," I prefer well versed on continuous dialog when no one is there to pick up the other end."  
He pretended not to notice the mother to the right of him quickly ushering her kids away, a look of concern scrawled across her face," Noooope. Not crazy at all. If I 'were' crazy then I would truly believe there was someone there to listen to me." Perhaps he should just get over Flash's lame insults. After all, he was several years older than him, having been held back a grade while Peter had skipped one, and he wasn't very creative nor witty.  
Though of course, he reasoned, people keeping their distances from him was probably a result of his black and blue face. After all, Flash always insisted he looked much better after his face was rearranged.  
Sighing Peter glared up at the afternoon sky as he made his way home. He 'could' have made it home today without the new color coded body parts, but at seeing Flash bullying some poor nerdy kid-not him!- Peter didn't have it in him 'not' to gain the bullies attention. There may or may not have been some comments on the bully being on his weekly, or still being pre-pubescent despite the fact he had been held back a grade. Honestly Peter was fairly sure the bully would have taken the concerns better if he had not used his real name, Eugene.  
"Hehehe still totally worth it to stick it to Flash. What exactly was it? Prepubescent 2 second 1 pump chump?" Peter chuckled for a moment before sighing. There was no one to relish in the glory with. Well all the glory of being beaten a pulp was.  
Peter probably would have made it home in time if he hadn't been bulldozed by over 200lbs of red and black leather clad muscle.

He groaned weakly and only had a moment to rub his forehead pathetically-honestly how many times was his face going to be rearranged today?- when a strong hand grabs him by the scruff none too gently and righting him.  
"Ah shit sorry kid. I was trying not to hit you-but the new big and green guy was feeling shy and didn't exactly want to dance. Must have thrown us to the other side of town. . .We should come up with a name for him, hes gonna make the papers for sure. What? Francis? That's dumb, no I was thinking more like . . .Amazing Green Caveman. . . .no okay yeah. . .Whites right he does we should just call him Hulk. Should tweet it. "  
And there he was. After so long!  
Peters heart stopped and for a moment he wonder if he had died. But then it was beating all too fast and he felt his face breaking into a large goofy grin that he hoped wasn't too serial killer looking. Because honestly, scaring away his hero-first friend?- was the last on his to do list.  
"Yeah like beating an underfed wet puppy." Wade was saying not taking notice of Peters huge smile. He faltered slightly, a bit disappointed since last time they met Wade had been nothing but eyes for him. Though here he was, head cocked to the side, phone in hand apparently tweeting the name for a big green guy? He was a little taken back but he shook it off as he placed a hand on one large arm.  
The other stopped, tensed and turned to him. Peter suddenly felt nervous.  
"Hey its okay, it didn't hurt much," he chuckled weakly and shrugged," bu-but yeah not exactly the way I was planning on running into you Wade."  
The mask, god had it always been this frighteningly expressive?, gave an obvious frown.  
"Well shit," the red clad man said and Peter didn't get another word in before he felt a fist contact with his face and he once again was meeting pavement before his world went black.  
Okay. 2 things.  
1: he reeeeeeeeeeally needed his face to stop meeting with such unfortunately fast paced solid objects.Mainly other peoples fists.  
and 2:he was wrong. Being punched by his childhood hero and probably the second person he looked up to being like was the worst. 

And with these thoughts Peter allowed himself to fully loose consciousness.  
\------------------------  
"How the hell does he know us though?"

{Perhapse he was looking for us to hire? Saw our Craigslist ad??} Yellow tried

(Oh yes. A child, one that wasn't even seeking us out that we knocked into after the great green and angry decided to throw us to the next city, was not only looking for a mercenary for hire, but also knew us by our first name instead of Deadpool??)

{I still think The amazing green caveman would have been a good name for him}

(And that is why we should never listen to you, and I came up with Hulk)

{So about this kid. . . .Can we kill him? We probably should}

(We don't kill kids. You know big guy has some morals)

{More like he's a little bitch. Which is why he panicked and knocked the nerd out}

"Would you two be quite," Deadpool grunted as he cleaned his blade eyes narrowed at the lump still passed out on his couch.  
Originally his first instinct was just to cut the annoying fuckers little head off, after all Wade hated little nerdy boys sniveling around his general area but he caught himself. He didn't kill kids. And he didn't hurt them either. So out of pity and guilt over punching an already beat up nerd-it wasn't hard to guess how he got that way-he took him home with the excuse for questioning him. 

(Plus big guy doesn't know what the writers have in store)

{What are you talking about. . .are you talking about the thing with the elephant -}

(No I am giving good reason, beyond him being a child, as to not kill the nerd.)

{Ooooh! You're right! We cant kill him} yellow agreed suddenly as if he was the one who normally had the reasoning behind their decisions. He did not {we could become close someday!Reeeaaaally close.}

"Ew he's like 10. We deff. do not look at kids. I have SOME standards ya-know. They least got to be able to legally drink first."  
Deadpool frowned and crossed his arms. Yellow never had shown any interest in children either, and he was NOT about to start letting that particular kink flower. He would shoot himself in the head a thousand times before he ever let that go any more. (He's talking about in about 4 or 5 years I think. . . but those are plot devices you don't need to worry your pretty head over.)  
{Would he be able to legally drink then??} (Not quite yet, but big guy doesn't know what rules he's trying to set for himself.) "God damn it would you both just give me some quiet time!??! or am going to have to make you?!?" he pulled one of his guns out and pressed it against his own skull growling.  
(Oh yes) White seemed to sigh. Could text boxes sigh without actually writing it out?(Shoot us, so that the first thing the kid sees is you with your brains all over the place. And that will solve everything.)  
"It's not like he isn't gonna be scared shitless by our mish mush of a face already. Whats some blood and brain matter between questioning?" {He could like us you know. If you weren't such a fuckin' looser. Even 'Ness is gettin' tired of your shit.} Wade growled. Yes, things had been tense recently with him and Vanessa. It was something he didn't like to dwell on very long. After all, there had been a time he had even drempt of making his own little rug rats with her. "I would blame that more on you two. You weren't in the movie, she wasn't thinking she was taking on this much baggage." "W-Wade?"  
The merc stiffens and looks over to see the nerd sitting up on the couch, looking positively frightened and confused.  
And Deadpool paused at the puppy eyes.  
Suddenly Wade felt very guilty at the little beaten thing. Since when was Wade a bully? An asshole-yes particularly in the looks department. Annoyance-of course his mouth could never shut. But a legit bully? He was never fond of picking on the little guy. Especially when the little guy wasn't particularly asking for it. He frowned hating himself more-ever since his experimentation from the weapon X program it felt as if it became more and more difficult to keep hold of Wade Wilson, and he honestly didn't know exactly what Deadpool was becoming. It was sometimes frightening. "Ah shit kid I'm sorry I hit you," he crossed his arms. Large chocolate eyes gained a glitter of hope, and he frowned," but I still wanna know why the hell you know my name geek."  
The crestfallen hurt look the boy took on was not what the merc with a mouth was searching for. And for some reason he felt compelled to fix it.

{We could kiss and make it better}

(He is a teenager. Not a baby. Nor an adult. There will be no kissing)

{when will we get some action then?}

(From him? Probably not until like chapter 20. Sorry folks takes time to grow up though.)

{SHIT were not taking a vow of chastity or anything are we?}

(Of course not we still get Vanessa's sweet Pu-)

"Shut it," he grumbled half halfheartedly as he neared the kid, and looked at him truly for the first time-without paranoia, rage, or his attention deterred from by the boxes stopping him from truly seeing the kid.

He was all limbs, and skinny like a twig. He obviously was in some awkward stage of growth where he seemed to be trying to grown into a true teenager to continue onto manhood, and it left him looking as nerdy and geeky as Wade was more than sure he was. Especially by the AP chem. book in his backpack.  
But also Wade saw the bruises on his face, and knew they were not all for him.  
The kid was saying something. And damnt it if he hadn't been paying attention.  
"Do you like pancakes? I'll make pancakes," he said in fake cheer hopping over the couch.  
"What? Pancakes. . .I-I do. . .but Wade. . ."  
(You completely were not listening to the reason the kid knew you. )  
"Does it really matter?" Wade thought to White.  
(It is for plot devises) 

"What plot devises are you on about? How do you know about all this while I've been reading the comics too?"Wade begun making a batter trying to tune out the feeling of eyes staring into his back.

{We have an in with the writer lady.}  
(She likes us)  
{Missed us while watching our movie. Multipule times may I add.}  
"Get on with it what plot devises?"He turned on the stove and shook a little side to side to wave his apron around. He was glad he had remember to pick one up at the store when opening up his apartment that was just outside of queens. He had many places to stay, mainly for jobs, and sometimes it was hard to remember what all each place needed. And it was almost impossible to make pancakes without the nice frills of an apron on him. He liked frills.  
(She totally ships spidypool. We do too cuz-damn that ass. Save your quarters because in a few years you'll be needing em. By the way kiddos talking again)

"I'm not sure what Spidypool is guys but what ever A.U you are comin' from just pull on back and shut the hell up so I can listen then!" he ground out. Turning back to the kid he saw the boy, Peter Parker he already rifled through his schoolbag, standing looking absolutely terrified.  
A long silence stretched between them, and Peter seemed to relax and get an expression of concentration on his face. His face scrunched up slightly and he cocked his head to the side folding his arms as his lip stuck out in a pout.  
And Wade forgot why he was annoyed in the first place.  
"Oh-AM-GEEE! Would you look at you! What a cutie pie! Aside from all the bruises, cuz really kid black and blue does not suit you- you look like a kitten! Hey we rhymed didn't we?!"  
"Do you hear voices?"  
Deadpool blink.  
White was silent.  
Yellow was silent.  
Peter blinked owlishly all fear gone.  
{I think this kid may be as mental as we are}yellow said quietly-as quietly as text boxes could be that was. White agreed.  
"Um yeah," Wade shrugged unsure. It was something even Vanessa couldn't get past, and would try her best to ignore," White and Yellow. They live in here. Loud ass fuckers." he tapped his head a few times.  
(Oh and your one to talk Mr. Merc with a Mouth) Peter hummed, cocked his head to the side, and then shrugged," Okay. Does that mean you didn't hear me telling you why I remember you?"  
Wade blinked.  
White blinked.  
Yellow was squealing.

{Can we keep him? His crazy seems to match our crazy pretty well Please say we can keep him! We can write an IOU to his parents and find a replacement at an orphanage or something!}

(That. . .seems to be a bit unnecessary. Kids are annoying. How do you take care of one. . .I'm not positive he can dress himself. Much less feed himself-look how skinny he is!)  
{We can do it I promise! We will feed him and make sure he brushes his teeth and washes behind his ears. Plus we took in old Al and she does fine enough. And she's blind!} yellow seemed to like the kid a lot for some reason (Al is an old stinky bitch who can take care of herself just fine. I personally don't want to deal with the constant sobbing for mom and dad, or try and help with homework or some shit.) 

Yellow seemed disappointed but Wade could only side with White on this one. Why the fuck would they want to keep a kid?

(We are not keeping him though I must say he is rather odd. Better keep an eye out on him.)  
"Oh yeah," Deadpool casually took one of his swords out of their sheaths and proceeded to caress it in a loving way. Because he did love his babies," I didn't hear that. So lets try again," he pointed the tip to the boy who once again looked afraid and gulped eyes large. That look seemed more appropriate on him around Deadpool, the merc thought, but for some reason didn't bring any joy to him. Huh. Odd. Generally he was giddy when people looked at him in fear.

"Wade-"  
"Its Deadpool."  
Peter blinked, seeming to have forgotten there was a blade-very sharp and pointy!- pointed in his direction,"What?"  
"Call me Deadpool. The merc with a mouth. New bad boy in town."  
He struck a pose with sparkles and fireworks going off and all. The boy continued to look confused.  
"Um okay. . . Deadpool. . .I just wanted to say. . .thank you I guess. But maybe I should be getting home."  
"Thank you?"the Merc blinked,"for what? Not killing you? That was Yellow and white-I was all for it. They seem to like you already-fuck knows why though."  
He was most certainty not going to let the kid know he absolutely adored the pout that made its way back to his face- and he was defiantly not going to let it out how he didn't harm kids. Bad for his rep.," And how do you know my name?"  
"You saved me."  
Deadpool paused.  
White paused.  
Yellow paused.  
"What."  
"Yeah," Peter was wringing his hands now, nervous and fidgeting,"Listen I was like 7 and you saved me from some super bad guys. And-I donno. I guess I never forgot you. I . . "  
Deadpool gasped and slapped his hands to his cheeks," Oh no! Don't tell me that 'I' am your hero! Not cap? Not tin can? Not that new green guy that we just started messing around with that is probably some sort of radiation experiment because that was all they thought of back in like-what- 60s and 70s??But wittle ol' me?!"  
If his eyes could become hearts they would.  
Then he calmed down glad White and Yellow were too damn speechless to bother his thought process. They had been unusually quiet during this whole ordeal, not to mention well behaved, and it helped him stay somewhat sane around the boy.  
"Shit-I am no ones hero. "  
"You said you were mine," the boy shot back frowning.  
Deadpool shook his head going to the fridge for a beer-he needed one now," Kid. I have only been in this suite for about 2 years now. And I know you are young but you only look a day after 12, so there is no way I could save you when you had been-what? 2?"  
"7"  
"7 right. Anyway. It was some other guy, trying to rip off my image-"  
"you said you weren't Deadpool then."  
Wade flapped a hand discreetly turning away from the kid to roll up his mask and chug his beer before rolling it back down," potato tomato."  
"Uh don't you mean-"  
"Banana Watermelon?"  
The kid blinked, then, much to Wades surprise, giggled.  
Aw shit. The kid was cute! (Wait-were not keeping him are we? We don't have time to babysit.)  
Wade stopped himself. HIs boxes hadn't been talking nearly the whole time the boy was awake and he found himself feeling oddly at peace with this feeling. Or at least not the loud mind throbbing arguing or snarky commentary they normally did. They somehow seemed subdued.Suddenly feeling uneasy and uncomfortable-two things that he-DEADPOOL- DID NOT FEEL, Deadpool crunched the can in his and before throwing it to the door, making the boy jump so hard the glasses nearly bounced off his nose,"Get out!"  
"Wha-buh-I-"  
"I.SAID.LEAVE."  
And Peter did leave. He didn't even look back, though the last thing Wade remembered seeing was the look of terror on his face before he had dashed out the door.  
He begun to trash his apartment, not sure where to direct his rage, or fully understand why it even started. But once finished he calmed himself down, plopped down on the now sagging couch idly plucking at the springs that came up next to him.

{Aw is baby pool throwing a tantrum? Need a babah? Nappy? Telly tubbies to rot your brain and sell your soul}  
"Shut the fuck up. I am not throwing a tantrum}  
(Oh yes because fully sane, funcioning adults just trash their apartments all the time)  
{We kinda just did}  
(I said fully sane. The funcioning part is debatable)  
{Oh. But like a paragraph ago he was actually acting like he had some sort of sanity again}

(Yeah its most likely because he is insecure, and wasn't used to feeling as if he were half in his right mind.)  
"Fuckin shut up the both of you. I need some silence!"  
(Kind of a disappointment you chased away the only thing that seemed to shut us up huh?)

{Why don't you just blow your fucking ugly ass face in again?} Yellow goaded

"Don't fuckin' tempt me. "

(Please anything to block out this horrible teen drama we are forced to be apart of) White was so done with his shit. Well White was always done with his shit.

"Yours too dickweed." and because he was tired, so very tired, and confused, he didn't let Yellow or White say another word before he was pulling out a gun-any one of them he didn't care which- and shot his brains out over the apartment complex.

He couldn't even bring himself to care that it wasn't in his recliner like normal. And that he just stained his best apron. 

 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heartspin: Okay so lemme know what you think yeah? And just to let you know were still setting a stage. And, not sure if you got the hint, but this story is slow build slow burn. But hopefully not to the point you wanna jump into the Tanana over finishing it. 
> 
> And yes. Wade insane. I hope to play on this more in many ways later on. I WAS going to at first make it before he got back together with Vanesssa. But at that time it felt as if he were far too wild and dark with no reasoning skills about. 
> 
> At least now he has some reasoning skills. I'll blame White box. 
> 
> And yes. Peter is odd. I always imagined him as pretty passive yet curious while lacking some sense of well being at times before he became spiderman. 
> 
> So. Yup. Still getting this puppy goin'. Lemme know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool: What the fuck writer lady!
> 
> Heartspin: uh what?
> 
> DP:Where the FUCK am I at in all this? I ain't no teen dramma shit. 
> 
> Heartspin:. . . .you kinda are over drammatic at times
> 
> DP:I should kill you
> 
> Heartspin: Not that you havent been against killing writers before, I think it wouldn't help since you get some limelight this chapter.
> 
> DP:Oh really?!? <3 okay I guess I can wait to K word you later.
> 
> Heartspin: . .. .thanks. . .I think. . . .Gotta hurry and write spidy older so he can get you under control.
> 
> Dp:What was that?
> 
> Nothin. . .nothin. Here is chapter 3.

Chapter 3  
Titlesarehard.

 

The time flew after Peter had last seen Deadpool, and it was as unsettling as the first time he had met the strange man slowly turning into a memory that stayed in the back of his mind as a consent reminder.  
That day he had shakily hailed a cab, jumped in, then proceeded to attempt to sneak in far past his curfew only to have his aunt and uncle go from being worried and furious to just plain furious.  
His face had been rearranged enough that there was no way to make up excuses. No "I fell down the stairs" no "I ran into a door" defiantly wasn't going to be able to try the "went to the zoo and got kicked in the face by a runaway llama" that he originally had been planning. No. He would tell the truth. Not that he was assuming the llama excuse would work. . . but he was desperate.  
Mostly because being faced with his worried and furious aunt who switched frighteningly fast from scared, to coddling, to murderous upon hearing about his beating from Flash(No mentions of the red clad man were made) and Peter almost felt sorry for the bully, but stopped knowing that it would make life more difficult for him in the end (and it did) after his aunt made a special appearance at the school. Least to say the principle was terrified of her.  
It was now winter, October had came and gone and he had matured from a slightly awkward 14 year old to an even more awkward 15 year old and months passed by with little sign of Deadpool. Peter wasn't sure exactly what he thought would come of it, besides the obvious change in age, but a plethora of zits on his chin was not something had expected or wanted.  
He also couldn't tell if he was glad or upset over Deadpool not running into him again. He had appeared on the news a couple of times. A shooting here. An explosion there. Either it was a blurred red and black spandex man yelling off into the distances screaming like tarzan, or he was at the new reporter trying to sing his best covers of Shakira or Brittney Spears. But the news generally covered what was now deemed 'The Hulk' and its occasional appearances. Though not local, Peter was intrigued about all the oddities that had been popping up lately. A couple years ago Tony Stark had became 'Iron Man' which Peter so did not fan boy over-he totally did- and then not even a year ago they had found Captain America Captain FRIGGIN AMERICA frozen in a block of ice-like what was this another episode of scooby doo or something? And Peter probably could have died happy that there were actual super heros-like the ones from his not so secrete collection of comic books he owned. And the world seemed to go on as it was though. Mutants poping up every which way, strange battles fought and aired on Television. Viewings of the strangest things. But it wasn't too new, just in larger crazier amounts. After all mutants started appearing in-what the 80s? Peter wasn't too shocked. Though He was sad to say at times he was still the same boring old Peter Parker. He would never be able to join in such a wild life, though he guess he should be glad he was a normal human being even if it meant he were not evolved-for that was all the mutants were right? Evolved humans. They had it hard as the newest minority on the planet. Though he didn't know it yet, all that would change. Particularly on this day. The alarm at his bed side screeched at him jarring him from a deep sleep and he groaned blindly swatting his hand until it reached the thing, shutting it off before groping around for his glasses.  
"Today is the day," he mumbled voice thick with sleep," yaaa-" his 'enthusiastic' celebration were cut short by a yawn.  
Last night, he remembered, he had been so excited for the field trip today he could barely sleep. In fact at one point he had considered staying up all night long-this had been at some point after midnight- but he had finally reasoned that would not be wise. Wouldn't want to look the fool at Oscorpe now would he?  
"Today is going to be a good day," he sat up still blindly reaching for his glasses until he felt the frames. Unfortunately he knocked them off the bedside table.  
Blurrily squinting in the direction they had clattered to, Peter could not wait for his new pair of contacts to arrive any day -he had been disappointed they hadn't arrived for the field trip to Oscorpe-he frowned and sat up further.  
"Trick is not to step on them," he grumbled, not for the first time having dropped his glasses. Getting out of bed he decided to shuffle from his bed to the direction of the glasses. Unfortunately, still half asleep, the fact that he needed his legs to be untangled from the sheets did not register until after he had already begun moving, and he found himself falling forward. Afraid he may fall on his glasses he pinwheeled temporarily righting himself before falling backwards into his bedside table effectively breaking it.  
Groaning Peter could make out the blurry outline of his main tormentor on the ground. Reaching forward he grabbed them and shoved them on his face just in time for his uncle to open the door.  
"Peter what the-"his uncle cut off and a wave of confusion past over his face and then a look of amusement before he shook his head," I'll go tell your aunt your fine. Please refrain from whatever. . . .zoo like activity you were doing this time to break your table. Your aunt was just sending me up here to let you know to hurry up or your going to be late. By the way Peter....that is a really old edition."  
"Y-yes uncle Ben," Peter said confused as his uncle turned around closing the door stating,"Never going to walk in on that boy again. Seriously what cou. . ."and his voice faded down the hall.  
Sighing Peter went to pick himself up before realizing in absolute horror that, with breaking his bedside table, the playboy magazine he had been given by Harry, and hadn't been able to look at, but hadn't been able to throw away so it had just sat in the drawer, had flown out and sat open next to his thigh.  
Least to say it wasn't the greatest start to the day.

123412341234

As days went this was by far the crappiest of all bad days. He had missed the bus, then decided running would be the best way to school, he stepped in a pile of dog crap and cursed careless owners, and then half way there it had begun to rain. He really missed his skate board and was going to be happy when his uncle gave it back to him. Arriving to school-late- Peter looked more like a drowned cat than anything, and his first period had been gym, meaning he squished around in wet socks soaking his gym shoes and making them stink to all high heaven. 

Next was science, with the trip to Oscorp that he had been anticipating all week, but his clothes were still damp and the stink had followed him to class. Flash and several of his goons had teased him relentlessly. Harry had offhandedly admonished them before shrugging to Peter apologetically. Peter didn't mind. He was lucky Harry didn't do the same.  
And then they arrived. Peters face could have split in two at how large the smile was. Not even Flash could wipe it off with consent jests about stinky feet. This. This was the best day of his life.  
Harry had parted from the group to join his father- apparently Harrys father decided to make an appearance for the class and everyone was in a frenzy to get his autograph. He could have sworn as his friend and his dad whispered to each-other in between students Harry discreetly tilted his head Peters direction and the elder looked right at him. Peter quickly averted his gaze to the floor.  
Peter didn't go ask for an autograph, it felt too awkward and he didn't want to walk up to stern looking Mr.Osborn with his two body guards standing like gargoyles on either side of him.  
"Maybe I can ask Harry to get one for me later," he reasoned with himself before stopping short," no that would be too weird."  
He tilted his head a bit and his brows creased together as he seemed to look intently at a spot on the polished white floors," not that constantly having one sided conversations isn't weird. I mean not many people to talk to so I guess there is reason but. . ."  
"Perhaps I should be slightly concerned about my lack of social skills."  
"Well, not that I am not pleased at seeing all of you so enthusiastic for this trip," Mr.Osborn was saying snapping Peter out of his inner monologue," But there is something very special I wanted to show your class. 'just' your class, as for this is something that we have been working on for years and have yet finished."  
For some reason he was sure Mr.Osborn was looking at him now before tearing his gaze away to address a woman who seemed to be his personal assistant, and she begun to herd the gaggle of teenagers to a set of double doors with a security panel.  
They made their way through several security checks, the students becoming more and more intrigued as they made their way deeper into the labs of Oscorp. Finally one more door, this one was just a simple keyed entry, and they were in a very interesting room.  
It was darker, with only blue lights, and many many large clear windowed rooms to look into that were divided into two sections. One was labeled test 001 and the other 002 while in between both there were two zeros with slashes through them that Peter had seen in several places and it sparked a familiarity that he couldnt quite place. In each one, there were large nests of silk and delicate blue spiders.  
Some of the kids squealed and backed out of the room. Some went to go tap on the glass-and then were quickly reprimanded by the teacher.  
But Peter couldn't find it in him to pay them much attention. All he could focus on were the small blue spiders with red stripes on their back. It was as if there was a strange pull to them.  
Suddenly a sharp pain went through his head and he winced slightly, and for a second he saw an image of a similar spider. Had it been in his parents office when he was a child? But as soon as the image had appeared it left him, and he blinked confused as the pain on his brow dissipated.  
"-Species genetics research," Peter tuned in interested to the lecture that was being given," any questions?"  
There were a few kids who asked a random pointless question here or there, but it was Gwen Stacy that, strong willed and outspoken as always with that brilliant mind of hers, spoke up and stepped forward," What about your rumored mutant research program. Could these have anything to do with that? If so what point would spiders have for mutants trials?"  
The woman blinked several times, but stayed impressively unreadable.  
"No. There is no mutant research program at Oscorp labs at this time, nor within any see-able future. As I stated before, the main focus of the spiders is for the webbing.Now if you would please follow me. . ." she begun to herd the class out the room and Peter trailed behind as usual, his eyes flitting to Gwens long blond hair chewing his lip. They began to make their way down the hall when Peter felt another pain shoot through his head, and another image flashed in his minds eye coming and going just as quick as the last time.  
It had been a smaller laboratory looking room, with a bed that he lay on. All he remembered was seeing that spider, again, suspended in a vile on a desk and a man in a white coat behind it. He was holding his old teddy bear whimpering.  
Grabbing his head Peter breathed deeply before looking back up again. His class was gone. Heart hammering Peter looked up and down the hall, wondering how much time had passed for a whole herd of students to be both out of sight and earshot.  
Just as he was about to begin going forward the fact that the door to the spider room was still open. A blue glow came form it barely visible on the white tile of the brightly lit hallway. Much of oscorps upper levels had been glass walls and either marble or onyx floors yet this hallway seemed so normal. So plain.  
Peter was turning and heading back into the spider room before he even realized what he was doing. Gently he grabbed the handle and closed it with a soft click.  
He stood there a moment, lost.  
"Why did I just come in here?" he shuffled closer to one of the spider rooms with peaked interest. Room 001 had a red light over it, but The door for room 002 had a green light over it. Trying the handle it gave, which surprised him since most of Oscorpe had extremely high security.  
"Should I be doing this? Probably not. . ." he paused, hand limply grasping the handle of the partially opened door. But then the image of the SAME exact spider crossed his mind again, and he winced as the pain came and he let go of the door in favor of his head. When the pain passed, he looked up and saw the door had gently swung open, probably due to his violent pull a moment before.  
Stepping into the room he neared where the spiders seemed to be working on one very large web that went up into the shape of a cylinder.  
The spiders worked in a hypnotizing scurrying way, and Peter thought distantly of how odd it seemed that they were actually doing a group project where as far as he knew spiders were solitary creatures. His eyes scanned the spiders to the webs before landing on one thick strand in front of him. And he suddenly found himself curious to see if it were sticky, or as firm and dry as it looked.  
Reaching forward, without much thought of any consequences from his actions, he plucked the thread gently.  
Which seemed like a very bad idea, since the whole of the web vibrated and suddenly Peter found spiders raining down around him.  
Gasping he froze before stumbling backwards, twisting around and running out of the room, slamming the door and shaking his head, batting on his arms, and looking for any that had stayed on him. He shivered, finding none but still couldn't shake the feeling of creepy crawly arachnids all over him.  
Quickly he made his way to the hall again, slipped out the door, and briskly begun walking down the hall determined never EVER to return to that room, or follow what his damn curiosity took him to(this was a promise he always broke as for his curiosity unfortunately was one of his strongest traits.)

"Mr.Parker,"he jumped heart racing as the stern woman from before approached him. He looked to her wide eyed,"I do believe you have lost the group. Please follow me. It is time for you to board the bus."  
Peter found himself gaping like a fish of some sort. A very unattractive, nerdy fish.  
"I'm not in trouble!?!?" Peter inwardly groaned wondering why in all things good would he even point that out. Why not just go with what little luck he was given.  
Apparently even though he was a nerdy fish, he was a very stupid one. Didn't a goldfish have a 3 second memory or something? Perhaps he was a goldfish.  
"No," she clipped and before he could finish his sigh of relief she continued," not with us at least. Your teacher on the other hand, did not seem pleased."  
Peter groaned. He was about to be a dead fish. He was fish cutlets. A fried fish. Delicious fish fingers to be passed out to the class. A baked branzino. He didn't even like branzino.  
"Last I saw they were contacting your parents,"the woman supplied a spark in her black eye as she seemed to hear Peters inner panic.  
No. He was sushi. That was what his aunt and uncle would have for dinner tonight. Sushi. And his aunt didn't even like Japanese cuisine.  
Groaning Peter followed the lady to the bus where a very red faced teacher was seen tapping her foot glaring directly at him.

Today was by far the worst day.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry," he grumbled looking to the ground.He tried not to notice the faces of all the kids on the buss, some sneering and some just enjoying him being scolded.  
"Parker. Since when is it all right to go wondering off by yourself during school outings? I know you have been excited about this trip, dont ruin future ones for yourself."  
Peter nodded face burning when he heard flash yell," Yeah Parker!" and for some reason the other kids found that real witty and funny since they all laughed.  
"Mr.Thompson It will be your father I call next if you cannot seem to control yourself," his teacher said over her shoulder effectively silencing the blond before turning back to Peter," Unfortunately I have already contacted your Uncle. He will be at the school to pick you up this evening. In the principles office. There will be disciplinary action."  
Peter looked up eyes large in disbelief at the teacher. He had never been in trouble with the school before.  
"Sorry Parker. Rules are rules. And you broke a big one. Now on the bus."  
As he begun to take the steps up to where the other teenager sat jeering Peter felt a sudden sharp burning pain in his hand, missing the step in favor of collapsing on the dirty steps while Flash laughed loudly saying some rather insulting things and the teacher announced there would be a call for Flashes father as well.  
Shaking the hand he saw a small spider fall onto the ground and he had just enough mind to squash it without thinking before he collapsed fully to the floor, stomach lurching as he felt his whole body feel as if it were caught on fire.

123441234

"Yo! My wonderful California Mountain Snake! Whats crackin'!"  
The tall black man turned around frown deep set as his one visible eye narrowed at the red and black mercenary.  
"Wade,"he said casually,"I for once am shocked to find myself saying I am glad to see you have come."  
"Oooh don't hurt us so baby! You know you just get my steel singing when your mean," his hands twitched at his sides and he cocked his head as yellow chimed in.

{We could take off a limb or two.}  
(Well while it wouldn't kill him, I do think it would loose us the job he is probably about to start boring us with)

{OOOooh then we can call him a pirate! Give him a hook hand and everything!}  
(We already call him that) white supplied (and it most likely isn't a good idea to be cutting limbs off our potential employer. Means no money. We like money.)  
{Yeah but we like more money. And Fury gives shit pay} Wade couldn't help but agree as he felt a hand rub lovingly at one of his swords. Fury watched with his good eye, tight lipped and tense, always ready to take on the unpredictable merc. __  
(Except we want to be part of the avengers remember? Probably would not be the best way to an invite)  
"Would you two shut up I am trying to listen!"  
The hand was off his sword, as he grumpily acknowledged Whites reasoning and Yellow was still whining about lack of hook hands. Nicks frown deepened," If you aren't feeling up to the job Wade, I am sure they can do it on their own. "  
The leather clad shoulders of the black man didn't loosen, but he seemed to feel less threatened as Wade addressed the boxes and not him with anger. "Wha-no! I like tooooootally want to team up! I am at your use oh sensei! Oh oh oh if were going Japanese, you can be Kakashi! Does that mean I'm Naruto? Or am I Sasuke? Nah that guy can be a little bitch. And Naruto gets the 9 tails. Either way, them Japs have some GREAT ideas for bonda-"  
"Just what the hell are you rambelin' on about? Listen get your crazy under control we leave in four hours,"Deadpool twirled around at the familiar sound of wolverine only to find hard metal smacking him in the face toppling him over.  
He would have been angry, but he recognized the smooth metal of a large Smith and Wesson.  
"Ah claws its not even my birthay yet!"  
(Apparently Wolverine is smart enough to bring a peace offering)

{And he ain't wearing that goofy ass yellow get up this universe.}

(Improvements all around I guess)

Wolverine growled when Deadpool smothered him and quickly threw the other off. He was used to the crazed mans antics after the few times they had encountered each-other. He was doing all he could from putting a claw through the mans skull with the knowledge that they would be teaming up. All he had was running out real fast, and it was going to equal up to blood and broken bones if Fury didn't hurry up.  
"Wait are we working together baby?"  
"We all are. So I expect us all to try and be on our best behavior."  
Deadpool turned to see Captain America standing in the now open doorway.

Wade swooned as he looked to the perfect man standing in the doorway, seemingly glowing with holy light, an american flag waving behind him as bald eagles sand ballads-probably the american anthem Deadpool wasn't sure he couldn't remember the damn thing- to accompany the mans majesty.

_(Bald Eagles dont sound quite so nice. . . .)_  
"Shhhh we cant question greatness," Deadpool said vibrating with the magnitude of being around the first avenger. Deadpool had yet to ever meet the man, and being in his stunning near perfect presence was almost unbearable. It was easier when he envisioned the mans head turning into a majestic bald eagle. Like the ones singing in the back ground.  
"So you are up for the job then Deadpool?"  
Deadpool dancing around Fury like a ballerina  
"Anything my captain! Who we killin? Who we blowin' up?"  
Nick Fury sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose walking to a computer as Captain America followed. Wolverine stood brooding in the shadows like he always did, looking cool and Wade momentarily thought of doing the same before he decided being with the Avenger would be better. So he scurried by the man with the shield who rose a brow questioningly at the red clad man when he sat down on the floor near the large computer screen.  
"Oooh movie time!"  
"Wade please try to be serious," Nick growled out.  
"Always am Mad-Eye. Man quit being so moody and lighten up.. . but you are right!" he jumped to his feet," constant vigilance!"  
Captain laid a hand heavily on his shoulder, and for once Wade seemed grounded," Son. This is a very serious matter. It is about a group doing human mutant experimentation."  
Wade was very silent,for once. Memories of the weapon x project tried to surface but he pushed them down.  
"Where these fuckers at," he growled," I kill em all."  
"We need," Fury started out," Your expertise in tracking down what may have been two of our agents, top scientists, who went into hiding years ago. We have lost track of them, and from recent communications are unsure if they are dead, or have betrayed us in favor of this group. Either way, the information held by one of them iis of the up-most importance not to be obtained by any of our enemies." 

_Wade was petting the gun Wolverine had thrown at him and he grinned,"So if they have betrayed you, you want me to unalive them?"_  
"No. You will not be killing the agents. But those who may be withholding them or you may encounter in finding them. But these agents need to be brought in alive for questioning and their knowledge."  
"Names patchy names!"  
A picture of two agents appeared on the screen after a series of information. The man had a stern face, if not a bit plain and soft, with brown hair and eyes. The woman was pretty enough, red hair and brown eyes with freckles dotting her nose.  
"This is Richard and Mary Parker," Nick Fury said grimly," They went into hiding seven years ago. Until six months ago they were known to be alive. But the contact we did have with them suggested that they may have betrayed us."  
" If found alive, they need to be brought in that way." Captain reiterated.  
"Of course, no K-wording the two nerd bastards,"Deadpool said absentmindedly. 

{WEll} Yellow supplied {If we do find them alive. They dont necessarily need to know. . . then we still get the cash}

_"Yeah" Deadpool thought grinning," sounds like a plan to me."_

_END_


	4. Wakie Wakie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up feeling strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet, sorta, Peters little angle spidey and devil spidey. Though they just make a slight cameo. . . as does someone else. . . ;)

When Peter came to it was a quick and startling wake up, unsettling as if he was in a falling dream and had woken before hitting the ground. He gasped, body tingling as he shot up, noise from all around going into his ears but during his flurry it went mostly unregistered. 

He breathed, eyes wide and unblinking as he took in the white washed walls, the health posters, and the sheet hanging from his hand that was stuck firmly by the lights shining above the bed he had woken up in. 

It took Peter a second longer to register this. That the room was upside down. That he was gazing down at the floor rather than up at a ceiling. The sudden realization brought his hammering heart to a stop and suddenly he felt himself falling face first into the bed before gracelessly falling off.

"Ooooh," he groaned pathetically head pounding, a sweat building up on his body. He felt shaky, out of control. Sitting up he went to go grab the side of the bed before it flipped over and crashed to the floor.

Jumping up he grabbed the bed only to find the metal body holding the mattress crushing under his delicate grip. 

The crash of course alerted whoever was outside-most likely the nurse- and he heard the click clack of heels make their way to the door. 

Panicked Peter went to go to the bathroom, but soon found the knob to that door detached and in his hand innocently. Looking around, was the click clack sound of those high heels echoing in his head -did they always sound that loud when he had heard them?!?- he looked to the window in desperation. 

"-Could always break the window and jump through-," he jumped as the thought entered his mind unwillingly. 

"*Could always just open it nice and slow like to prevent any more damage to the school that poor aunt May and uncle Ben will most likely have to pay for,*"again a thought that entered his head. Loudly.

The handle to the door began to turn and he didn't give another second as to wondering why his inner thoughts seemed to be voicing themselves a bit louder than normal-no seriously they had squeaky annoying voices and everything- and focused on the task at hand. Escaping the school nurse and trying to figure out what the heck was going on. 

Jumping past the fallen bed he found himself face first in the ceiling, somehow having jumped so far over his bed he had went head first into the panels breaking it open and giving him a rather unpleasant mouth full of whatever material it was made out of. Sputtering as he fell he found himself somehow twisting around to land hand first and then back on his feet before wrenching the window open-it shattered despite his not wanting it to and he somehow found himself jumping out, scuttling up the side of the building and onto the school roof in no time, flipping over the edge and flattening himself the the floor of the room heart hammering his body shaking as he attempted to regulate his breathing. 

"What is happening," he heard himself say. He couldn't even berate himself on the thin wobbly voice that came out, it sounding much the same whenever caught up with Flash," what. . . .what . . ." he couldn't find the words to articulate his confusion so he just settled for trying to remember how to breath and not choke on his own dry tongue. 

"And just what are you doing up here?" Peter could have jumped on the ceiling again-had it not been for the lack of roof he most likely would have- and found himself landing into strange stance plastered to the ground on his hands and feet. It felt almost predatory in stance.

In front of him was a man in gray overalls, a mop bucket and mop in hand, a thick gray mustache with salt and pepper slicked back hair a thin set of aviator glasses sitting on a long nose and bushy gray eye brows were up in clear surprise. It was Mr.Lee. The janitor. 

"O-oh Mr.Lee," Peter was shaking. The man had more than once been kind enough to unlock him out of his locker. Or janitors closet. Or help dry him off after being shoved into a toilet. Or. . . well the man had been there for the past couple years of Peters high school life-and his middle school surprisingly enough- and he had taken an odd liking to him.

The man humphed grumpily waggling a finger at him sternly, though no real heat seemed to be behind his words," Young man what is going on with you? Up on the roof at the end of a perfectly good school day. Why your missing your last period. Parker this is unlike you."

"Oh well," Peter floundered shaking, the wind blew and it was as if body felt it far differently than before, he attempted to stop gasping for air like a fish out of water but then his eyes seemed to focus in a new way entirely, tracking a squirrel in a tree on the other side of the yard, jumping when he HEARD the flap of a bird wing over head and he darted to the side when he jerkily looked up to it, before focusing back on the elderly man who seemed unimpressed by his small mental break down. What the hell was going on?!?

"Mr.Parker, if you think now is the good time to try drugs I do believe you need to realize this is not a fun trip and you will never do it again. Ah drugs. Brings me back to the good old days. Back in my day, when I was in high school they-"

"No-no no! No drugs!" god he hoped not though by the way his heart wouldn't stop hammering-was he going to have a heart attack?!?- he wasn't entirely certain any longer. He just knew he had to cut off the janitor before he got into one of his infamous monologues. Seriously once the man started he was hard to shut up. And of course he didn't.

 

"And so to avoid being shot in the fucking head my buddies and I quickly made our way out the back window, my pants still half way around my ankles so of course I'm falling over myself, still half ha-"

"Oh god no" Peter was massaging his temples not ready to listen to this story-and how had he gotten so far in it without Peter catching at least half of what was going on, before he spun and begun shakily heading for the door," I have to go home sorry Mr.Lee. I'll see you later. And don't worry. Defiantly no drugs. Ever."

And he made his way on wobbly legs to the roof door, gently with two fingers turning it with a held breath before sighing in relief as it turned without detaching itself and begun to pull when the old man said in an amused voice.

"I thought you were half blind without your glasses Parker."

He spun around slapping a hand to his face to realize his glasses were not on his face and the man was grinning at him a mysterious glint in his eye. 

Peter ran, more confused than ever, and only half registering that the door had ripped off its hinges upon his flinging it open.

\---------------------------

Peter had ran all the way home-surprisingly there had been no need for a break despite how sweaty and shaky he was. By the time he arrived it was sundown, and he was hyper aware of his aunt pacing in the front room while his uncle was sitting in his recliner.  
"Shoot," Peter said swear sliding into something more aunt May approved as if he were afraid she would sense the curse," shoot shoot purple fruit no. I am so screwed"  
Despite this though he entered as calmly as possible. Unwilling to have a repeat of the last two doors he was gentle upon pulling it open and letting it click closed behind him as he entered, half crazed upon seeing his caretakers.  
"Peter Benjamin Parker what in heavens name," his aunt seemed to be a loss for words and his Uncles anger melted into one of shock and wonder. Peters wide eyes darted between the two before he tried to pat the main of wild hair back into some sort of sorted manner, wiped his mouth and began his profuse apology.  
"Aunt May. Uncle Ben," he started looking at them each intently as if through a tunnel, his head was light and he swore he probably could sweat a puddle where he stood," I am a TERRIBLE terrible ungrateful person. I am home way late AND I know I ran out of school. But oh god I am sorry. I'm sorry and I love you," he went and gave his aunt a kiss on her cheek as she stood speechless slack jawed as his uncle slowly stood brows creased in confusion," I will NEVER do it again. EVER. I am terrible.I am ungrateful. And god," his stomach growled as he caught sight of the fridge in the kitchen," I'm hungry"  
with that he slid past his Aunt and uncle to the kitchen and weakly pulled open the fridge, grabbing the first thing he could- Celery- before shoving it in his mouth chewing noisily while grabbing an old box of Chinese not even sniffing it before adding a mix of lemon ginger chicken and rice to the celery.  
He lay his face eyes against the freezer door while leaning on the open fridge door eyes closed in absolute bliss. Food. He had needed food so bad. he never remembered being so hungry.  
The Chinese was gone within seconds as was a second helping of celery before he found himself piling his arms full of leftovers that probably would have migrated to the trash and raw veggies. He topped the pile off with meatloaf that his aunt made, grabbing a piece quickly from the plate relishing in the protein and carbs complementing his aunts recipe before grabbing a bag of chips slowly making his way upstairs, barely registering at his uncles slip up about the meat loaf.  
Ooops. That had been their secrete for years. 

Peter didn't have time to worry about his most likely early demise from his aunt-if not for his absolutely abnormal behavior that day then from his normal distaste of her meatloaf-family recipe or no it was terrible. But that night it could have been from a gourmet restaurant. 

Peter figured he would eat, then freak out and question things later. His brain was on low power mode in favor of nourishment. 

 

\-----------------------END-----------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it is short. Life. It gets in the way. And I just HAD to include that part from Amazing Spiderman. Sorry. Just loved it too much. This chapter is a result of little sleep and a determination to finally get to the actual SPIDEYPOOL. though as I said. This is slow build. So yeah. Wait for that molasses to roll down the hill. It'll get there.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So i Know this must be a very fast paced and confusing beginging. So bear with me. 
> 
> Also I KNOW there is some glaringly obvious OOC here. WIth reason. I'm sure some of you can guess as to where this is going. 
> 
> So please tell e how you like my first spidypool fanfic. 
> 
> Thanks!


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